Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize