All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize