Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
