ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
