Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
