Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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