This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
