I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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