Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
