I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
