My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
