actually, I'm a sock model
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We need to get me chipped asap
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
