Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
