I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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