i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
