You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
