I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
