im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
