Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
