hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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