Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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