My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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