Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
