Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just had sex on a roof
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
