What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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