I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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