I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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