i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she pinky promised me she was 18
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
