I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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