i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
