apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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