i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize