Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
