Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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