i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
