recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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