we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
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Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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