just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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