He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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