Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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