basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
