so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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