Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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