so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
