So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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