Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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