I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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