Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
