i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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