im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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