I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
