He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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