He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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