she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
why is half of my head shaved?
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