home. puking in laundry basket.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
