i need an iv and a liver transplant
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
