Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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