please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
