im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
